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Share responsibility for connecting
All parties participating in the conversation need to be involved and make sure they are
clearly understanding each other.
Using “I” Statements
It is usually better to state your own thoughts, emotions, and needs rather than
telling others what they should do or how they should think.
Inappropriate Statements
Appropriate Statements
I can’t believe you did that!
Help me understand what
happened.
You’re wrong!
I see your point, however;
have you considered this
information?
No!
That’s actually…
Uh huh.
Yes, of course.
4
Example: Joe arrives late for work for the 2
nd
time this week. Without asking for an
explanation, his boss, Rick says, “You are late! One more time, and you are FIRED.” Joe is
upset by this and stomps off the job. What Rick doesn’t realize is that the reason Joe is late is
because he was asked by another manager to stop by a client’s office on his way to work
to make sure the HVAC system was installed correctly. Joe quit over a
miscommunication
.
If Rick had said, “Joe, I noticed you were late again this morning. Can you help me
understand why you were unable to arrive on-time?” Joe would have been able to explain
that he was making sure the HVAC system was properly installed on a jobsite. Rick would
likely have responded with, “I understand, thanks for doing that. Next time you are going to
a job site before work, can you text me and let me know? I don’t always know when you’ve
been called off site, and it would really help me to better plan.”
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